My mother has been a near-constant presence on my Instagam feed pretty much since the birth of my blog, and you all recently had the chance to see her in the Momma T x TildaKimono Collab. Now, in light of Mother’s day weekend, I wanted to give the world an opportunity to get to know her on a deeper level. She is a woman with wisdom and heart, and I think you’ll really like her.
With my notebook in hand, I met my mom for happy-hour beers, and asked her some questions. Sit back, relax, and read what Momma T had to say:
KT (Me): Start off with introducing yourself, what do you want the world to know about you?
MT (Momma T): I don’t want the world to know anything about me…
Okay fine. My name is Akosua, I turned 50 years old. I was born in Ghana–I didn’t grow up here. I lived a short time in Montreal, and then moved to Edmonton.
I’ve tried many careers, and finally settled on HR–Recruitment. I love people, and I love supporting women to reach their full potential. I’m fascinated by the different paths there are to take people where they want to go. I look at my 5 strengths from Strength Finders, Learner, Arranger, Restorative, Positivity, Empathy, and I love the definition of Empathy. It says I should always be working with people; I just love the nuances of humanity.
KT: What are you most proud of? (And no, you don’t have to say your children.)
MT: I’m most proud of my confidence level–and the decision to go back to school and to change careers. I’ve really struggled with indecision, so I’m really proud of creating a goal around the HR process–of writing it down, laying it all out. You know; creating 6 month, 1 year goals of where I wanted to be, and then actually accomplishing it all!
And also, I’m proud that I’m able to have three grown up kids that aren’t on drugs…
KT: Thanks mother…
MT: No but really, I’m proud of where they’re at and who they’ve shaped up to be.
KT: I know you’ve achieved your most recent goals, but what are your hopes and dreams?
MT: Hoping doesn’t have any action behind it, so I have goals.
I want to inspire other immigrants–women coming to a different country and struggling to assimilate in another culture; struggling to get an education. I want to tell them to enjoy the journey and move forward, and not to discount failures. It’s never the end of everything.
It’s hard being a black woman–a black person–in society. I’ve had to figure shit out on my own without support. Learning a new language, a new culture; you lose yourself, or can’t find yourself. Without a strong foundation of who you are, or without a mother figure, it’s easy to stumble.
Imagine, having no support, and having a baby at your age. Throw on top of that, being married to a white guy. Bursts out laughing.
KT: Who inspires you?
MT: I don’t have any one person who inspires me… I get inspired by people who are open with their generosity to offer friendship and advice. I get inspired by women. By powerful, strong, women. I get excited about women who make time for other women, and other people. Women who see the potential in others, and embrace, encourage, and mentor them to break down any barriers.
KT: What do you love most about being a mother?
MT: Nothing. Bursts into laughter again.
It’s hard being a mother. I believe that children aren’t “my” children. I believe that I was a vessel, to give them the opportunity to come into this world and to be better–to be better than I was. I’m a room that was rented out, so that they could be better than their fathers and grandfathers before them.
I guess I’m proud that I have given them the opportunity to think for themselves; to do things for themselves. All a parent wants is for their kids to contribute to society–and to survive in society. And just hope you haven’t damaged them too much.
KT: What is the hardest thing about being a mother?
MT: Feeling like you haven’t done enough, or weren’t on top of things. Feeling that somehow you short-changed them.
KT: If you could candidly tell your children something, what would it be?
MT: Don’t be afraid; you have so much more than your Dad or I did. Don’t be afraid to go out and do things. At the end of the day, you have so many tools, and fear puts you in a state of inaction. Fear makes your confidence go down, it blinds you to possibility, it makes you less than you are. Don’t sell yourself short.
KT: And finally, if you won a billion dollars what would you do?
MT: If I won a billion dollars? Oh my gosh…
Well, before I gave my kids any money, the stipulation would be to take an accounting course. They would have to complete it before we may give them anything.
I’d set up a foundation to help people in need, and the contract would be that they had to help someone else after–to pay it forward.
I’d buy a home in New York, London, and San Francisco (I really like San Francisco). Oh, and I’d buy a house on Bowen Island.
I’d also open up a foundation that would support women and children in leadership. That’s what I would do if I won a billion dollars.
Thank you all for reading, and I hoped that helped you to get to know my momma a little better. It’s easy to forget that our mothers are their own people, especially when we are younger. They have experiences apart from us, dreams apart from us, and struggles apart from us.
This Mother’s Day, if you have the opportunity, I encourage you to sit down with your mom and chat. You may learn something new, or see them in a different light. We all have a story, and we all have the power to inspire others.
Happy Mother’s day everyone, go hug your mommas!